I have always been a very vivid dreamer. I dream at least
three times a night and I always remember them. They play over and over in my
mind sometimes I can’t put them in to words but they are always there in my
mind. They are not always good dreams, sometimes the dreams are nightmares.
Sometimes I dream of the past; of people I loved, people I still love, but they
are people I have lost. It does not mean they have died, but they are lost to
me now. Sometimes I dream of those who have passed as well. It hurts because my
heart longs for them, but my head knows it is only a dream. Still I cherish
those brief moments that seem like minutes but are probably hours.
There are some people who don’t dream or they dream but
don’t remember it, I am actually quite envious of them. My husband is one of
those people. There have been countless nights I have woke him up and asked him
to go check to make sure the door is locked because I had a bad dream. I ask
him as I lay in his arms my heart racing the shivers of fear slowly dying down,
“Do you dream? Are they bad dreams?” his sleepy reply “No, I don’t remember my
dreams. Go back to sleep it was only a dream.”
That horrid phrase “It was only just a dream.” Just a dream
it felt real and sometimes dreams become our realities though. Such as I dreamt
of becoming a Mom and I am one. Where do you draw the line between the two?
What dreams are just dreams? And what dreams become realities? I have to stop
myself sometimes from diving to deeply into the interpretation of my dreams. I
think because the line between the two is so blurry. If you let yourself get
carried away by the dreams you could be lost forever to not living. If you let
paranoia take over you begin to quit living your life. I dreamt of a black cat
therefore I am not leaving the house today. Dream interpretation is so very complicated;
I think that if the dream is supposed to mean something it will eventually make
sense.
Have you ever dreamt something and the very next day it
happened? One night I dreamt that my families Suburban had been broken into,
the people tried coming after me but I was able to get away. Come to find out
the next day the Suburban really had been broken into. After my uncle died I
dreamt of him. I remember it to this day. He was in a shack like house and told
me to tell everyone that he was at peace. He then asked me to go get my dad so
he could talk to him. I don’t know what he said to my dad I just know in the
dream my dad went in the house and they talked for a long time.
I think one of the scary things about dreams is we feel we
are not in control. I mentioned to a co-worker last summer as Jordan was away
at annual training that I was having nightmares on repeat. He mentioned that he
had suffered from nightmares and suggested the idea of lucid dreaming. And so began my journey of controlling the dreams. It doesn’t always
work but sometimes I am able to realize I am dreaming and manipulate the dream
to my desire. Most of the time though once I realize I am dreaming it causes an
Inception sort of effect and my dream world collapses in on itself.
I began writing this post earlier this week and just got
back to it. The funny thing about this is the night after I started writing
this I woke up to my husband yelling in his sleep. I shook him awake and he
fell right back to sleep. The next morning I asked him if he remembered his
dreams from the night before. He said he remembered two of them and they were
both bad dreams.
The dream world is such a confusing one, and I have many
questions about it. I hate and love that I remember my dreams, and that I dream
so vividly. It is such a complicated relationship to have. One day I am sure to
have all the answers to dreams, but until then I’ll keep on dreaming.
