Multifamily Living with the Williasons
I have been referring to our current living situation as “Cohabitation”
I looked further into the definition of the word and would like you to know
that we are not “Cohabitating” the way it is defined. I should have used the
word multifamily living not “Cohabitation”. I sleep with my husband, Sam sleeps
with her husband we do not share husbands…eww!
Question 1: What led
you guys to that choice?
Our decision to move in together had a lot to do with my
husband Jordan’s military career. The National Guard drills once a month, and
two weeks out of the year. With the way things are going a deployment seems to
be in our future. When and if Jordan deploys he will be gone up to a year. I
knew that I didn’t want to live by myself while he is deployed so we made plans
to move in together. It also seemed more sensible we are renting a six bedroom
home cheaper than us renting apartments separately.
Question 2: Do you
share kitchen responsibilities?
We try and do a clean up after yourself rule but sometimes
it doesn’t work. We are pretty adult about the whole situation because we know
we aren’t purposely leaving messes for the other person to clean up, most of
the time for me at least I totally forget I have left something out. Sometimes
I clean the whole kitchen sometimes Sam, Josh or Jordan clean the whole kitchen.
However when one of us is cleaning the kitchen it isn’t like the other people
are sitting on their butts doing nothing, together we have 4 kids under 2
someone needs to entertain the kids while one or two of us attempt to clean. We
do clean together, and we try to keep the messes in the kitchen to a minimum
because toddlers can push chairs and whatever is left on the counter is free
game.
Question 3: Do you
ever feel like one family does more than another?
I feel like in any situation there are going to be moments
where you feel you are doing more than the other people in your job, school
groups, and home. There are certain chores some people like and some people don’t
like. Josh and I end up doing the dishes most of the time because we really don’t
mind it. Sam sweeps a ton…again with 4 under 2 we need to be sweeping
constantly. The biggest thing we need to remember about multifamily living is
we are going to have moments where we are upset because we feel like the other
family is being lazy not contributing enough to the household chores and we
need to talk about it. With multifamily living you can’t burry things under the
rug it will only get worse and you have the risk of destroying a relationship
you don’t want to lose.
Open communication is essential to multifamily living if you
can’t communicate between families you will have issues no doubt about it. You
also want to make sure you are communicating between each other and not an
outside source. Your home is your business and you don’t want things getting
blown out of proportion or misconstrued. Family council is going to happen
because you are a great big family living together that’s going to have
problems and you will need to resolve them. You have to be comfortable enough
to say “The cupboards in the kitchen are being left open and I keep hitting my
head in the middle of the night when I go to get a drink.” Then the people
leaving the cupboards open (Alex because she is 5’3” and doesn’t realize they
could hit a taller person in the head…and maybe she was being lazy.) will
realize what they are doing and make sure they shut the cupboards.
I love multifamily living the benefits are amazing,
especially when you have a husband who works a lot. I have countless examples
of the good things about it here are just a few.
Christmas time this year was crazy I wasn’t able to go
shopping until the Saturday before Christmas with my toddler and newborn in
toe. When I got home both kids were definitely ready for naps and I had my arms
full as I tried to figure out the best way to unload kids, groceries, and
presents. Then out the door comes Josh asking what I need help with I give him
the kids he takes them into Sam and then continues to help me unload the car. Could
you imagine if I was still living in a second story apartment by myself…
Sam and I both suffer from migraines there have been several
times that we have been able to go lay down for an hour or two while the other
person watches and entertains the kids. Another thing that we wouldn’t be able
to do if we lived separately.
Dinner is quite an experience with 3 who are eating food and
love to experience it with all their senses…lol literally we have pulled some
things out of noses and ears before…mainly Braden’s. However at the end of the
meal when it is time to clean up with four adults one or two can tackle the
baths and the others can clean up the chaos in the dining room!
We have made some of the coolest memories and it has only
been two months. It has been an adjustment but we are all enjoying it. We have
common areas we all hang out in such as the living, dining, kitchen, and playroom.
We also have our private areas we can retreat to if we are feeling overwhelmed
and need a sensory break. All the living bills are cut in half! We go on family
walks together and the looks on people’s faces when we tell them we are sisters
and live together is priceless…lol add in we are Mormon and you get a look of
complete shock. I seriously want to tell people we are sister wives just
because their facial expressions crack me up. And I am sure they get even more
confused when the kids call Josh “Daddy Josh” and Jordan “Daddy Chaka”. It’s
hard to explain but it’s us.
Our living situation helps us both out. But I don’t think
Sam and Josh know how wonderful it has been for us. Drill weekends are really
hard on Braden and I have seen over the past couple months them become easier
because Braden has “Daddy Josh” and his best friend Colden to help distract him
while Jordan is gone. That has been really helpful and easier on my heart to
see some of the pain of Jordan being gone erased from our lives.
Toddlers are hilarious and if we weren’t living together we
would miss out on Colden and Braden conversations such as.
C: Daddy is Josh
B: Daddy Chaka
C: No Braden Daddy Josh
B: Daddy Chaka
This conversation was on repeat for a good ten minutes.
