8 and Counting.

 Multifamily Living with the Williasons

I have been referring to our current living situation as “Cohabitation” I looked further into the definition of the word and would like you to know that we are not “Cohabitating” the way it is defined. I should have used the word multifamily living not “Cohabitation”. I sleep with my husband, Sam sleeps with her husband we do not share husbands…eww! 

Question 1: What led you guys to that choice?

Our decision to move in together had a lot to do with my husband Jordan’s military career. The National Guard drills once a month, and two weeks out of the year. With the way things are going a deployment seems to be in our future. When and if Jordan deploys he will be gone up to a year. I knew that I didn’t want to live by myself while he is deployed so we made plans to move in together. It also seemed more sensible we are renting a six bedroom home cheaper than us renting apartments separately.

Question 2: Do you share kitchen responsibilities? 

We try and do a clean up after yourself rule but sometimes it doesn’t work. We are pretty adult about the whole situation because we know we aren’t purposely leaving messes for the other person to clean up, most of the time for me at least I totally forget I have left something out. Sometimes I clean the whole kitchen sometimes Sam, Josh or Jordan clean the whole kitchen. However when one of us is cleaning the kitchen it isn’t like the other people are sitting on their butts doing nothing, together we have 4 kids under 2 someone needs to entertain the kids while one or two of us attempt to clean. We do clean together, and we try to keep the messes in the kitchen to a minimum because toddlers can push chairs and whatever is left on the counter is free game. 

Question 3: Do you ever feel like one family does more than another?

I feel like in any situation there are going to be moments where you feel you are doing more than the other people in your job, school groups, and home. There are certain chores some people like and some people don’t like. Josh and I end up doing the dishes most of the time because we really don’t mind it. Sam sweeps a ton…again with 4 under 2 we need to be sweeping constantly. The biggest thing we need to remember about multifamily living is we are going to have moments where we are upset because we feel like the other family is being lazy not contributing enough to the household chores and we need to talk about it. With multifamily living you can’t burry things under the rug it will only get worse and you have the risk of destroying a relationship you don’t want to lose.

Open communication is essential to multifamily living if you can’t communicate between families you will have issues no doubt about it. You also want to make sure you are communicating between each other and not an outside source. Your home is your business and you don’t want things getting blown out of proportion or misconstrued. Family council is going to happen because you are a great big family living together that’s going to have problems and you will need to resolve them. You have to be comfortable enough to say “The cupboards in the kitchen are being left open and I keep hitting my head in the middle of the night when I go to get a drink.” Then the people leaving the cupboards open (Alex because she is 5’3” and doesn’t realize they could hit a taller person in the head…and maybe she was being lazy.) will realize what they are doing and make sure they shut the cupboards.  

I love multifamily living the benefits are amazing, especially when you have a husband who works a lot. I have countless examples of the good things about it here are just a few.

Christmas time this year was crazy I wasn’t able to go shopping until the Saturday before Christmas with my toddler and newborn in toe. When I got home both kids were definitely ready for naps and I had my arms full as I tried to figure out the best way to unload kids, groceries, and presents. Then out the door comes Josh asking what I need help with I give him the kids he takes them into Sam and then continues to help me unload the car. Could you imagine if I was still living in a second story apartment by myself…

Sam and I both suffer from migraines there have been several times that we have been able to go lay down for an hour or two while the other person watches and entertains the kids. Another thing that we wouldn’t be able to do if we lived separately.

Dinner is quite an experience with 3 who are eating food and love to experience it with all their senses…lol literally we have pulled some things out of noses and ears before…mainly Braden’s. However at the end of the meal when it is time to clean up with four adults one or two can tackle the baths and the others can clean up the chaos in the dining room! 

We have made some of the coolest memories and it has only been two months. It has been an adjustment but we are all enjoying it. We have common areas we all hang out in such as the living, dining, kitchen, and playroom. We also have our private areas we can retreat to if we are feeling overwhelmed and need a sensory break. All the living bills are cut in half! We go on family walks together and the looks on people’s faces when we tell them we are sisters and live together is priceless…lol add in we are Mormon and you get a look of complete shock. I seriously want to tell people we are sister wives just because their facial expressions crack me up. And I am sure they get even more confused when the kids call Josh “Daddy Josh” and Jordan “Daddy Chaka”. It’s hard to explain but it’s us.

Our living situation helps us both out. But I don’t think Sam and Josh know how wonderful it has been for us. Drill weekends are really hard on Braden and I have seen over the past couple months them become easier because Braden has “Daddy Josh” and his best friend Colden to help distract him while Jordan is gone. That has been really helpful and easier on my heart to see some of the pain of Jordan being gone erased from our lives.

Toddlers are hilarious and if we weren’t living together we would miss out on Colden and Braden conversations such as.

C: Daddy is Josh

B: Daddy Chaka

C: No Braden Daddy Josh

B: Daddy Chaka

This conversation was on repeat for a good ten minutes. 

23 Facts about a 23 year old!

I am deathly afraid of sharks and open water if I can’t touch the ground in the Ocean I don’t go any deeper. Also if I am the last person out of the pool I have this irrational fear that somehow a shark will get me. (However I am open to the idea of getting in a shark cage and conquering my fear, but I still won’t snorkel in Hawaii.)

I once picked up what I thought to be the most beautiful rock in the world only to have it turn out to be Sheep poop.

Sometimes when I laugh so hard I quit breathing and then when I finally do breathe it is like a high pitched squeal!

 Once in Seattle I went to get on top of the Golden Pig in Pikes Market and ripped out my pants mooning most of the people on the pier.

There are several instances in my mind of when I was in middle or high school where I acted like a typical teenager and almost ruined two really important relationships I hold dear to my heart.

I have been in two car accidents both my fault I rear ended the car in front of me because I was texting and driving. (Both in High School) My driving record is clean now!

When Jordan was taken away I tried to love again but it was always back to him. (No complaint there I have two gorgeous kids and a temple marriage because of it.)

I am a hopeless romantic and any book I read I always make myself the main character and pick other people to be the other characters.

All of my poetry and other writings are always triggered from a feeling about someone or something. Most of them are about certain people… especially boy’s lol.

I am pretty proud of the fact that I can quote almost any movie and I rock at Harry Potter Scene it trivia!

I have a crazy memory where all I have to do is picture an object/person that I can’t remember and 99% of the time I can remember what it is call just by random pictures in my mind.

I am a vivid dreamer…which makes me afraid of the dark.

One time Sam and I were making cookies and the mixer broke so she said “We are going to have to mix it by hand” I immediately wash my hands and walk over to the bowl to mix it literally by hand.

I think I am hilarious and some may not get my humor but I make myself laugh and that is all that matters.

I have major separation anxiety and it has only gotten worse over the years. Seriously I have only spent a total of 6 nights away from Braden. I didn’t have any issues until my older sister Sam moved away to college.  Then soon after that it seemed all the people I loved would just leave.

I write in a journal and have been doing so since I was 8yrs old.

I can’t help but read/listen to something and want to IHS the crap out of it. This has led to some really interesting conversations.

I have never doubted my religion or God only myself and other people.

I love surprises however I am terrible about keeping them a secret!

I struggle with depression, and anxiety. It is a constant battle that I am trying to conquer without medication.

I try my best to not judge others and their situation because growing up I was judged by people who knew nothing about me and it hurt…sometimes it still hurts.

I hunger for knowledge and love to learn new things.

Last and not least if I wasn’t so ADHD I swear I would be OCD!

Cha-cha-changes!

I'm going to try my best to not be all over the place with this blog but I have a feeling with my pregnancy brain and normal ADHD it may get a little confusing.

First off I am 31 weeks pregnant only 9 more weeks to go! I find it funny no matter what point I am at in my pregnancy whether 10, 20, or 30 weeks when asked when my due date is the return comment is always that is forever away. I smile but really my crazy pregnancy hormones want to yell "Don't tell a pregnant lady she has forever to go with her pregnancy ever!!" lol. I think people are a little surprised my due date is at the end of October because of how big I am already. I have learned from my previous pregnancy that because of my height my belly just grows straight out! With Braden and this baby I have always measured 4 weeks ahead. My Doctor isn't worried since it seems to be the normal way I grow. This baby is very active especially at night time. My heartburn has been terrible, and we had a gestational diabetes scare. Luckily though my 2hr test came back normal! I'm going to try to eat healthy though and continue to exercise especially swimming since that seems to be the only way to ease the sciatica and pelvic pain. This may be TMI but I so badly want to have a successful VBAC(Vaginal Birth After Cesarean) and I exercise will help me get there! I don't want to labor again and then have to have a c-section I feel like that would be like preparing for a marathon and then having someone push me in a stroller through it. I know as long as I have an amazing support team, positive thinking and my water doesn't break early again I can be successful. A c-section is not the worse thing that could happen but it is scary for me. I know I have had one before and I still remember the pain of it and I really don't want to have to go through that again. I know people have their own opinions on c-sections, vbacs and stuff I prefer only positive uplifting comments as I grow closer to delivery!

Moving on from pregnancy to family. Jordan returned last Wednesday from 3 weeks down in Glendale helping out with the fires. Jordan and I have been apart several times in our relationship, even before we were married. You think that I would have got used to saying goodbye to my best friend, but it gets harder and harder with each goodbye. Especially now that I can see the effect it has on Braden. One of the nice things about Jordan being gone though is it gives me plenty of  opportunity to reflect on how much I miss him and how much he means to our little family. He can be a real pain in my butt, and sometimes it is a struggle to get him to empty the dishwasher but I couldn't have asked for anyone more amazing!

Personal stuff that has changed. Well as Jordan was gone I made the decision that it was probably best to quit my job at Cinemark. I have worked there for almost 5 years. I met some amazing people, some crazies, and learned a lot about the movie industries like theater workers don't get overtime because they are considered a part of Hollywood and Hollywood doesn't get overtime just really big paychecks! I will not miss feeling obligated to work every single weekend of the year, feeling guilty for requesting off holidays. And the best part is I get to be at home with my adorable son Braden! I left my job to be with my family, there are things in our future that I can't really talk about on the Internet that will effect us deeply. I want to be with my children and to keep myself sane want my children to be with me. Don't worry Jordan and I are completely happy and are in this for eternity but other outside things will bring changes to our life in the next two years.

Moving on from personal stuff to moving!!! Jordan and I's lease is up on the 18th of September! We couldn't be happier apartment life has been interesting and I am thankful for the experience but there are so many things I will not miss about it. An amazing opportunity has presented itself to us and we will be moving into a beautiful home in the Santa Clara area! The best part is the house is large enough that we will be moving in with my sister Sam and her little family. I am really excited because I enjoy being close to family and it will help the lonely drill weekends! Plus it is perfect because Braden gets to live with his best friend Colden! So yes this means we will be moving when I am 34 weeks pregnant but we won't be moving into the house just then. Unfortunately the house won't be ready for us to move in right away but that is okay. We will happily be moving back into my parents for a few weeks until the house is ready. So most likely we will be moving stuff the last 6 weeks of pregnancy. I guess you could say we are crazy but I am okay with it. The more I have to do up until I deliver the better. If I stay busy then I won't be lazy lol. I am so looking forward to moving into this home and I most excited about all the beautiful storage space the house has to offer!

I think that is all the update I can give you for now. I wish I could say that I will be posting more within the next couple months but between packing, moving, weddings, and birthdays I am not sure if I will have as much time as I would like to post blog updates. However check out my Facebook I update that thing like crazy!

Accomplishments and what not!

Bear with me here guys I am sick and pregnant. Not morning sick, sick but cold/flu sick. I already suffer from major pregnancy brain and now I have sick brain. So if my blog feels all over the place or I don't sound like my normal happy healthy self it is because I am under the influence of a summer cold. I thought I would share some personally accomplishments I achieved this past month.

1. I survived 3 weeks with my toddler, dog, and pregnancy without my husband. There were lots of tears, it was rough but I made it. Of course I would not have been able to make it without my amazing family! Seriously the best people ever! Thank you Mom and Dad, Sam, Josh, Jordan, and of course Braden's two favorite people Colden and Henslee.

2. I conquered fears. I have always been a vivid dreamer and I have a very active imagination. About half a week into Jordan being gone I began to have nightmares that made me scream and wake myself up. One night I woke up and saw a tall figure standing in my room. I knew it had to just be my imagination because the figure was wearing a mask that I had seen in a movie preview. Needless to say I did not like it at all and I turned my light on and for a couple of nights the only way I could sleep safe and sound was with the lights on. I know silly right. I decided to cast out my fear I needed to strengthen my faith. So I began to sleep with the lights off but my Bible tucked safely in my arms. And then I began to read at least 5 chapters of my Book of Mormon a night, and say my prayers. It worked perfectly I slept with the lights off and the Bible just laid in bed beside me. I conquered my fear of the dark and nightmares!!

3. I made it through Alma. Alma in the Book of Mormon for me is always the hardest part because it is 63 chapters long. I did a small calculation and set myself a goal. Jordan would be home in 12 days if I read 5 Chapters a day plus an additional 3 on one day I would be done by the time Jordan got home. I did it in half the time!! I have never been so intrigued by the book of Alma before I was in love with each chapter and learned so much! I was able to recall things taught to me in seminary, and add to my knowledge. I was able to ask questions, seek answers, and apply those answers. It seriously was amazing. And I accomplished my goal!

4. My biggest physical accomplishment this month which might not seem like much to some of you out there but it was huge for me. I walk/jogged a 5k on Saturday the 29th of June. Sure I did cry once because of the excruciating round ligament pain, but I completed the 5k with a smile on my face ready to do more!(not really)

I know I was not able to complete 2-4 of my accomplishments without the Savior. Every step of the way through my nightmares, the Book of Mormon, and the 5k I felt the Saviors love. I also felt his and I's relationship strengthening. One of the greatest moments I can recall though was when Jordan came home for one night and it was like 11pm at night and we got into bed both exhausted and I said to him "I would like to read my scriptures" and he replied "That is a good idea that way you don't get out of your good habit you have set"  He seriously could have replied with "turn the light off and go to bed, I am exhausted." but he didn't he supported me and I am forever grateful for an amazing spouse who supports me and my goals. I am now going to set some goals for July.

July Goals
1. Finish the Book of Mormon by August 1st (I am almost done with 3rd Nephi)
2. Accept what the Lord has planned for me
3. Visit with family and friends
4. Continue to strengthen my relationship with Christ
5. Enjoy life to the fullest!

What happens to a Love...

As much as I enjoy writing poetry I read it as well. I have been fortunate enough to take a poetry class at the college this term and I am enjoying looking into new authors to me but old authors in writing. Especially my new favorite Paul Dunbar he is a beautiful writer! But the poem I want to share with you today is one I came across a long time ago and it has always been dear to my heart. Hope you enjoy and I hope you have a wonderful Tuesday!

What Happens to a Love…

December 19, 2007 by Raatkiranii (K.F.S)

What happens to a love that you're unable to explore, that first spark, that, which starts with temptation?

Does it wither away?
Scorched, burned, a wound that's best left untended? A pain that's best left forgotten?

Does it remain an unextinguished temptation?
Inappropriate desires, fantasies, reality gone unchecked? Passion fulfilled in dreams?

Perhaps it becomes a self-doubting, lingering question?
Guilt ridden, what have I done? What am I doing? Should I think this way? Should I feel this way?

Maybe, it warps into an unyielding, nagging regret?
Years gone by, time wasted? Chances missed - the ever present, What if?

Does it fester; rot you from the inside out?
Make you bitter at not having what you ought, what you deserve?

Or does it remain a youthful bud?
A memory, evergreen, bittersweet, unspoiled? A tear, a sigh, a smile? Never forgotten, a private reminiscence always visited - in the mind, in the heart?

I'm not gone...just pregnant...new poem.

One of these days I will name names…but for now I don’t because then everyone knows who my poem is about and I think the mystery to poetry is important. It makes it so that when you read the poem it can be unique to you and personal. You can easily picture who you would write the poem about. If I told you it would ruin it for you personally. It’s like when they make a movie out of a book you’ve been reading and the characters almost usually never match your imaginations description.

Chaos, confusion, am I the only one losing?

And I’ll look for her in lines of your life

Secretly hoping you never make her your wife

I can’t help but smile when I see your face

I swear no one will ever take my place

I wasn’t the first nor was I the last

But I’m that unforgettable past

The one you think on

Wonder what went wrong…

Was it because I always loved him

Would you ever win?

And you’ll keep coming deep in the night

When my guard is down and I can’t fight

I want to reach out and pull you in

But remember you never win

And the music on the radio is so right

There playing all our songs tonight

I will beg you to let me be

As I move closer to you

This isn’t yin or yang

This is chaos

And we will never be the same

Oh Baby!

Well now that it is facebook official I thought I would write a blog post too! Through Gods grace Jordan and I are pregnant again!! It came as a shock since it took us a year to get pregnant with Braden and fertility drugs. I think a lot of it had to do with me exercising 3-5times a week. I wasn't losing weight but my body was beginning to get into a routine again. I've known I was pregnant since February 20th...and if any of you know me very well you know keeping this secret is a huge deal!! I did it for one whole month! Well I told a few people but hey facebook didn't know. I'm sure you are all wondering how I found out so I will tell you.

In January I purchased a 50 ovulation prediction kit/20 pregnancy test set. I noticed that my periods had started to become regular, so I downloaded an app on my phone and started keeping track of everything...and I mean everything. My tests were like PH strips and you have to wait 5 minutes to get a correct reading. I counted days and did my opk's and they all came back negative. Oh well life went on we weren't super trying to get pregnant so I wasn't too worried. I was at home one day and I had a migraine. I would randomly take pregnancy tests just because with my PCOS everything wasn't always 100% accurate, and my migraine medicine is most definitely not safe during the 1st trimester. So I took a test, waited 10 seconds the control line showed up I shrugged my shoulders decided it was negative and put it back in its package and threw it away. Later on that day I went back to the bathroom to go pee, and decided to look at the test just for the heck of it. I pulled it out of the package and to my amazement it was positive. I was shocked, and thought maybe it was a false positive so I dug deeper in the trash for an older test to see if it showed a false positive after 5 minutes. The older one was still negative. 4 tests later I was pretty confident in the fact that I was pregnant.

So yes I know this pregnancy is soon after my first pregnancy but I had no idea that my body would figure itself out or Heavenly Father would bless me with another baby so quickly. I feel extremely blessed for this 2nd baby and can't wait to see how great of a big brother Braden will be!